I cut myself
but it doesn't hurt as bad,
as you ripped my heart out...

I feel my demons coming

they are screaming deep inside

as they try to rip my soul apart

there is no place I can hide.

Coming with destructive thoughts

they are filling up my head

whispering pain into my earsI might as well be dead.

So I go into my lonely roomI just can't fight anymore

all the rage and self-hateI just can't seem to ignore.

Here I scream and sit in silenceso many tears flood my eyes

needing to release my inner torment

needing someone to hear my cries.

I grab the matches & a candleas I turn off all the lights

I watch the razor cut me slowlyit's going to be another bloody night.

Too many thoughts inside my head

I no longer want to feelas I cut my arm wide open

the outer pain is no big deal.

The blood is warm & flowingI feel no fear or alarm

just a feeling of great reliefas my inner pain flows down my arm.

As I start feeling betteras my tears begin to dry

knowing that I've paid the price

Now I don't have to die.People don't really understand

so I cannot tell a soulThat I have just climbed out of

my dark and private hell hole.

So I hide the cuts, put on a smile,& tell everyone...

I'm okBecause they don't want to hear my reality

"I'm ok"...that's what they want me to say.

Some don't want to deal with

the awful truth I tell

they don't want to know the facts

about my private living hell.

I can't really blame them

from running away from me

so I just accept the way it isI walk away and let them be.

So...I keep my demons & memories

locked way down deep inside

until they rise up again

where I can no longer hide.

I know my demons will return

bringing up all my pain

then I'll turn to my bloody razorand do this whole damn thing again.