the worst night of my life!

well Cheri you was right about deric.... I cant believe he did this to me....i cant believe you was right...you told me you didn't think i was going to last you told me not to trust him...what the hell was i thinking...i mean i cant trust any one anymore,...i always get letdown ....well more like knocked down. why do people do this to me!!?!?!?!?! i mean I'm a pretty girl and i don't think I'm that bad of a person ....RIGHT? i mean why would some one want to hurt me so bad? i just don't get it. why cant i find some one that loves me the way i love them? every man i have ever met loved me .....but all they want from me is sex and when i don't give it up they give me up. i mean i want to wait for that one spacial person that makes me so happy......i thought deric would be that one special person...i mean the things he said to me made me feel like the luckiest women in the word. he made me feel so free and happy.... i cant believe he did this...AGAIN!!!!!i am starting to think no one wants me...no one cares for me in that one special way that makes them want to fly...i am so depressed right now...i want to cry so bad but it wont come out. why cant i cry? WHY? if i could cry i think i wouldn't be in the mess I'm in right now. if i could die i wouldn't be in so much pain, well I'm going to go, I'm ganna take a sleeping pill and go to sleep that always makes me feel better, but for some reason i don't think it will this time....well here is a few pics i messed with ...bye bye