cant take much more of this

Me and my dad are fighting more and more each passing day,

he doesn't appreciate anything i do,

and he keeps throwing the fact that i cant buy my own cigarette's in my face,

its not my fucking fault i don't have a fucking job,

he wont let me get one because if i get a job the check that the government sends me every month wont come anymore.

I'm about to loose my mind, i mean its like I'm nothing to him

like he puts up with me just so that he'll have someone their to bitch at and tell what to do.

its total bull shit.

some times i just think i should run away.

i don't know where i would go or where i would live,

but it be better then spending my life pretty much locked up.

i mean a hardly ever go any where.

mike goes where ever he wants when ever he wants

its not fucking fair

i mean i know hes almost 18 an all but,

fuck I'm 16 and i can take care of my fucking self.

sometimes i wish he would just be one of them dads that don't give a shit

the ones who don't care where their kids go or who they go with.

i would actually have a life if he was that way,

i think I've left the house by myself with a friend like 2 times since i moved here.

i never go anywhere because he don't trust me, i don't care if he dotn fucking trust me its my fucking life ill do what ever the fuck i want to with it,

he cant see that I've changed

i don't do drugs anymore,

i don't slut around anymore,

i hardly ever drink,

i mean what the fuck!

god man i mean i cant even have a fucking boyfriend anymore because he thinks I'm gonna fuck him. so what if i do, its my fucking body.

if i get prag ill deal with it,

i don't need his help, if the check came to me every month i wouldn't need him

i mean I've already been told by one of my friends that i could live with them.

so i wouldn't even need a place to stay, i could pay for my own food and smokes, and anything else i might need because this friend wouldn't make me pay rent, just help with food and shit.

so i mean really id be better off.

i mean i know my dad is going through a hard time and all but shit i just want him to leave me alone, and let me live my own life.

but im done for now,

im just gonna go think for a little bit,

<3missy<3