depression

OK so things with my dad are getting better,

i think hes starting to chill out a little more,

Christmas wasn't too bad,

i have a feeling that some of my family members on my moms side,

don't like me too much,

because of the things Ive done and because i choose to live with my dad,

my mom cant keep her mouth shut about my life.

i don't even like telling her shit,

dad tells her and it pisses me off because she tells everyone,

i don't want her to be a part of my life,

i mean i know shes my mom,

but man i cant fucking stand her,

its like i try so hard to get along with her,

but i cant take it anymore i mean i feel like I'm gonna pop,

all these feeling i keep inside,

no one knows. i cant take anymore,

i cant take lying to myself and my family anymore.

its like i fake a smile to make everyone happy,

and ever time a smile,

a little peace of me dies.

and ever time i see her face,

all the hurt she caused comes back like it had just happened,

i never let her see it.

i always smile and laugh around her,

but this Christmas was so hard on me,

no one knows how depressing it was.

i mean this was the first Christmas that my mom and dad wasn't together.

i mean in away I'm glad my mom and dad are not together,

i don't think that my moms good for me

she was one of the reasons for my depression.

all the lies she told

their never going away

i still have the memory of that night she left,

ill never for get it,

it hurt me so bad

you all will never know.

and i hope u never do

the last look on her face,

the last words out of her mouth

hunt me to this day.

they weir all lies.

well ima go.

laterz