job

i might be getting a job here soon at mcdonalds .....ya i cant wait to get me some moola! lol
well this is going to be short because i dont feel good and i need some sleep because the homecoming dance is tomarrow .....wowwww....im going to try and get this really hot guy "jay" to go with me....even if we just go as friends....im cool with that! i just love being around him....he makes me smile all the time and he is so cute and funny! i cant wait!!!!!!!!!!!! well g2g love yall
wow i said yalll.....thats a little creepy! well anyway see ya laterz,

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS

What Hurts The Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' ItIt's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still HarderGetting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspokenWhat hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the mostIs being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to doOoohhh....

this is the way i feel

the way i feel!
this is the way i feel, like a child with no one to talk to... no one to care, to share,i feel so numb, no more love left in this empty black halo heart of mine. i am done with you, with me. i have been hurt for the last time, it feels worst then the first. the pain, the sorrow, the never ending hurt that i feel within. i cut to feel pain to take away that pain i feel inside, i scratch myself to heal the wounds on my heart, i do all this to feel I'm alive... you make me feel so invisible, so dead....some times i cant even tell if I'm alive or dead. this is how i feel....i only wish to be free.free from this world, from this pain, this hurt, this unbearable love i have for you

Why does he do this to me? i tell him i love him he says he loves me too. but yet he loves another too, how can u care so much for one person and the same for another? he is my one and only love! and always will be! way cant he see that i love him? why cat he see that i care? that when he is alone and depressed that i'll always be there. he met one of my friends online (we were talking in a conference) and he told her she was hot right in frot of my face and told her that he wanted her to love him the way i do...then whe my friend asked me if i had a camra i said yes, he stop right then and there and told me he loved me and he wanted "to see some boobies". fuck man i hate my body. my breasts are the only thing a guy cares about. not me, not who i am, but they want me for my DAMN tities. i fucking hate my life! i wish i was died or at lessed loved for who i am not my boobies. i wish the world (guys) were not all about sex and boobs. it just makes me so depressed. and stressed.well im going to go before i cry. see ya

DERIC AND HIS NEW LOOK

HE HAS FANGS NOW!!!!!! SO SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

broken home

I can't seem to fight these feelings
I'm caught in the middle of this
My wounds are not healing
I'm stuck in between my parents
I iwhs I had someone to talk to
Someone to confide in
I just want to know the truth
I just want to know the truth
Broken home
All alone
I know my father loves me
But does my father even care
If I'm sad or I'm angry
You were never ever there
When I needed you
I hope you regret what you did
I think I know the truth
Your father did the same to you
I'm crying day and night now
What is wrong with me
I cannot fight now
I feel like a weak link
Push it back inside
It feels bad to be alone
Crying by yourself, living in a broken home
How could I tell it so y'all could feel it
Depression strikes me hard like my old earth would tell it
To me, her son, she told me I'm the one
Pain bottled up about to blow like a gun
Stories that I tell are nonfiction
And you can't take it back casue it's already done
Broken home

Can't you see? Don't you care

Can't you see?
Don't you care?
I want to die?
Don't you listen?
Can't you hearMy silent cry?
Won't you turn?
Can't you holdMe to your heart?
Are you afraid of what might follow Once you start?
Would you rather not believe I'm in such pain
That all your sense and good advice Must be in vain?
Would you rather tell yourself
I'll be OK,
And all this adolescent angst Will go away?
Ah! Would I also swim across This lake alone!
But if you cannot swim with me,
I know I'll drown.

just some pics i took! that i really like.


i dont know why but lately i have been really depressed! i cant put my finger on it but something is killing me. i have trouble breathing and i cant seem to sleep at night with out crying myself to sleep.why does god do this to me? it seems every freak'n time things start to get better he makes them wores. i cant take it abny more.

two of my best friends!

haven (the girl) is like my sister! we are so much alike its crazy